In desperate pursuit of Hope… : Ten Things Of Thankful – 21

God, please grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Covid-19 has snatched away our dreams, home and livelihood in a single blow. We are now left with no place to go, no form of income whatsoever and scarce resources. This last month has been worse than ever.

All the more reason for me to focus on my next Ten Things Of Thankfulness.

Thank you for good health. Really. We’ve been travelling around so much of late and I have been so worried for our little girl’s sake. Touchwood, thankfully we are all in good health and safe.

Thank you for the fact that we do have a roof over our heads and food on the table at-least for the time-being. Yes, there’s the perpetual threat of being kicked out yet again but then again we aren’t on the streets like the hundreds of thousands of our brethren.

Thank you for the man I have as my partner and our beautiful young child for no matter what happens, or where we are, their presence and love always feels like balm to my spirit.

They are the only reason I still believe in magic, guardian angels and miracles.

They are the only reason I still believe that all will be well and that all our dreams will come true no matter how hard and cruel life may seem at times.

They are the fire that keeps my heart warm and alive on cold, lonely nights that are devoid of hope.

Thank you for the angels you send my way from time to time for those people are the ones who keep reminding me time and again that “This too will pass”.

The other day when on call with my mentor, he reminded me how life will go on and that Covid-19 isn’t the end of the world.

He told me of the numerous ways in which we can use this time to work on our craft and build something of our own. He even suggested we focus on setting up our own startup.

He kept telling me to stay cool and focus on the positives and not negatives.

Though at first I was disappointed that he wasn’t understanding the worry and fear raging in our hearts, as he spoke I realised that not only did he understand it but he was also trying his best to make me focus on what can be done, the silver lining… That call was in fact what prompted me to start writing this piece in the first place… Thank you.

Thank you for making sure that the right guidance and advice was sent our way at the right time for else we may have been putting the life and safety of our young daughter at risk.

Thank you for the miracle called Nature. The property right outside our bedroom window is a huge empty plot of land which looks like a rainforest of sorts owing to the fact that it hasn’t been de-weeded or anything in like ages. Just gazing out into that luscious green space, watching mongoose families and squirrels scuttle about and listening to the birds is all I need to feel better every time I feel like a fish out of water. Thank you for every breeze that embraces me in reassurance every time I feel alone and lost.

Thank you for standing by my dear friends Linu and Anuja as they stepped into the world of matrimony with no further issues or controversies. Thank you for ensuring that they both have both their families by their sides and did not have to face the same things I did.

Thank you for sending my daughter the company of my nephew over the last few days. She was confused, lost and depressed about not going home. At bed time every night she keeps telling me that she wants to go home… The company of the boy has been the perfect dose of fun she needed to lift her spirits.

Having grown up with no cousins or close relatives to speak of, seeing my husband and his relationship with his cousins and uncles and aunts had been very new to me when we got married and I moved in with him for the first time. Even now after 4 years it still is a new experience for me to see his camaraderie with his cousins and everyone else. Here, in his hometown, it feels like every other person on the streets is either someone he has known since childhood or a relative in some form.

Thank you for the fact that my daughter is growing up in the company, love and affection of cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents and so on. I had always worried if she would end up growing up the way I did, without knowing what it felt like to have a bunch of cousins as playmates.

Thank you for the kind people in my life who have, time and again, tried their best to keep my spirits up and send me means for getting work and the like. I am blessed for having such good people around me. The kind that wish the best for us. Especially my teacher who has known me for over 10 years now. It’s incredible that he still has any faith left in me or my capabilities….

Above all, Thank you for Rain, such a beautiful, magical phenomenon. It is everything one needs when feeling low. It’s music to the heart every single time.

Today is the day I have to return the keys to our home to our landlord.

My first Home… A space my husband, daughter and myself pieced together a bit at a time with such love and affection. A space that never failed to fill my heart with such joy and peace. A space that showed me what “home” feels like. A sanctuary for our little family. Our own little nest.

My happy space. My Iliria…

Thank you for letting me have a home of my own, a space that was mine. Not my mom’s nor mil’s. Mine.

Brief as it was, it was so so beautiful. Thank you so so much………

There’s absolutely no one out there whom covid hasn’t affected. I hope and pray with all my heart that all of us pull through this safe and sound.

 

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